| Record Archive got the chance to talk to Klip and Darryl of up-and-comers Trainwreck, and while they look very, very, verrry similar to Kyle Gass and Lee of Tenacious D fame, Klip tells us he's Kyle cousin; the band will play Buffalo (the Mohawk Place) this Saturday night at 7:00pm!!! ~Tim Goodwin of Record Archive |
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| ________________________________________________________________________ KLIP CALHOUN: Hello? RECORD ARCHIVE: Hello? DARRYL DONALD: Hello. A three-way hello. RA: How you guys doing? KC: Good. DD: Purty good. RA: Thanks for taking the time to talk to us...it's pretty early out there on the West Coast. DD: Yeah, Klip is a late bloomer. A late riser. KC: I got up at 5:30--what are you taking about? Who is this? This is the Michigan Bijou? RA: This is not the Michigan Bijou, this is the...Rochester Randy Regulator. DD: Yeeaaah. KC: Who? Rochester Bugle? RA: Yes. We're also known as the Rochester Bugle. It bugles to Western New York. You guys are gonna be in Buffalo on the 19th...is this the first time Trainwreck has come to Buffalo? DD: That would be correct. KC: Yeah, first time. RA: Any big plans? You gonna try to see some of the lovely sights of Buffalo? KC: Where's Niagara Falls? Isn't that nearby? RA: We think it's about twenty minutes out of Buffalo. KC: Oh. Too far. I won't go there. DD: I'm gonna host a Grunion hunt. RA: A Grunion hunt? DD: Yeah...have some people come out... RA: How does one catch a Grunion? DD: Well...you gotta have quick hands. Light on the feet...and you have to have a special whistle that attracts the Grunion. RA: ...and some sort of bait? DD: I'm sure. And the thing is, sometimes girls flock, too when they hear that whistle. RA: So it's like a two-edged sword. You get the Grunions but you also get a lot of women. DD (laughs): You get a Grunion, and then you get donuts. KC: Is that two-edged sword the same as a double-edged sword? DD: Yeah, it's got two edges, doesn't necessarily mean back-to-back. Could be side-to-side. RA: So the music of Trainwreck--what should people expect? KC: Are you familiar with the term "hodgepodge?" RA (laughs): "Hodgepodge." KC: That's what we have here. DD: It's like the sounds of Donnie and Marie. A little bit country, a little bit rock 'n' roll. KC: That's true. DD:...but you're gonna have to turn the amps about three or four notches from the Donnie and Marie setting. RA: So that would be the best definition of "Chick-fried rock." KC: In a word? It's just plain fun. RA: Now, with the D and everything, how did Trainwreck come to be? KC: We said, "Jack Black? F you." DD: You'd rather make movies? We'd rather make rock. KC: You wanna go work with Pauly Shore, make another genius comedy? DD: ...make millions of dollars? That's fine. 'Cause we're not gonna make squat, but we're gonna rock the world. KC: I like playing video games too, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna sacrifice my rockin.' So people of Western New York: wake up! The D is dead! Long live Trainwreck! RA: Now, we've done a little striding of the boards ourselves as actors, and since you two fellas have experience in the acting world, do you have any advice for the up-and-comers? KC: Give up. DD: Oh boy. KC: Where? In Western New York? RA: Yes. KC: No. RA: It's a bustling scene, though. KC: How old are you? RA: 29. KC: No, it's over. What do you look like? RA: Tall, skinny, nerdy-looking kid. DD (pause): That could work. KC: That could work. DD: The ladies like that look. RA: Is that the new "in" look? DD: Oh, the ladies have always liked that look. KC: Look, I gotta work for every gig I get. DD: Yup. KC: I got my resume in my back pocket in case there are any Doubting [Thomas's] out there. DD: I recommend a wig...uh...a good costume, and the rest kinda falls into place. RA: I hear Grunion costumes work well. DD: Look, you can wear orange, you can wear camo, you can wear any colour you want for a Grunion hunt. Just keep that whistle handy. RA: We like to wear orange and camo, so nobody shoots at us. DD: Yeeeaaah. KC: Hey could you get the word out? We're having a possible western swing dance contest. With the grand prize to be disclosed...a very valuable placard. DD: a placard. KC: And there might be a cash award as well. Possible western swing dance contest. RA: All right. We'll make that the headline of the Bugle. KC: Did you call the Bugle editor? I'm saying push that to the front page. RA: I'll call him as soon as we're finished. KC: And there's also...we're also having a dating contest to see who wants to date me and Darryl. DD: hm-hmm. KC: We'll do quick interviews, and the winner gets to go out with one of us after the show. They'll see the inside of a real rock 'n' roll hotel room. RA: What if we win? DD: The thing is, you couldn't win because you're a sausage, and we have a donut policy on the first page of the questionnaire. We'd love you to join, we'd spend some time with you... KC: hm-hmm. RA: But the contest is donut-only. DD: Well, we encourage the sausages to come around, but you better have two donuts per sausage. RA: Now, when Trainwreck meets with its inevitable worldwide success, what will Trainwreck mean to the children? DD: (whistles) KC: We'll be role models. RA: Will you guys be able to accept that kind of responsibility? KC: Of course. We have our Darryl and Klip Little Dudes Ranch, that we're starting out in Lancaster. RA: For your little dudes. KC: Yeah. You send your little dudes out to the camp, and [they] can take classes in...what classes do we have? DD: Well, we have "Mullet Coiffure..." RA: Oh my. KC: That goes under a whole, sort of, hygiene... DD: Yeah, that's probably under the hygiene portion of the... KC: The mullet is the most important part of that. DD: Right. And then there's "How to Pick Out and Wear the Tightest Pair of Wranglers Money Can Buy." RA: That's the class we've been looking for. KC: That's part of our Costume stuff. DD: I guess that falls under "The Costume." And then there's "Rock 'n' Roll Attitude," which cannot be taught, it can only be achieved through osmosis. KC: And we all play parlor games...uh, Fat Bottom Boat. DD: Jelly Donut. KC: Lot of fun. Little dudes. RA: You guys have a date for Trainwreck's album release? DD: (whistles) KC: We're workin' on it...actually, today. DD: Goin' into the studio today. KC: Finishing up basic tracks today. You can look for that... DD: Fall. KC:...in stores or on the World Wide Web...we just got access to the World Wide Web, I don't know if you're aware of it...but it'll be available sometime next year. RA: Any special guests? DD: We been invitin' quite a few guests, but no one's showin' up. KC: Unlike my cousin KG, who became a Satan worshipper, and a Star F'er, we use the band only. DD: We stay true to our boys. RA: So it won't be like a Jay-Z album with a bezillion guests. KC: Who? DD: Jay-Z. You never heard of that cat? KC: Who? DD: Oh man, he's smokin.' KC: The Jayhawks? DD: Jay-Z. RA: So who you guys been listening to? KC: I been listening to some Merle Haggard. And I like that new guy Kenny Chesney. DD: Kenny Chesney. Yeah. KC: He's a good lookin' kid. DD: And he wears tight jeans. I like him. KC: And sleeveless shirts. DD: Oh man. KC: I'm cuttin' off all my sleeves. DD: And a black cowboy hat. Man, I don't even want to [put] it on. It looks too sexy. KC: People'll think you're tryin' to be Kenny. DD: I can't do it. That's his. KC: You gotta retain your own personality in this business. DD. Yeah. But we also listen to some old-time favorites like Loverboy and Kenny Loggins. RA: Because you've got the country, but you've also got to have the rock 'n' roll. DD: Yeah, it's an arm-wrestlin' fight for that CD player every damn leg of the tour. RA: Who's the best arm-wrestler in the band? DD: Pssshhh. Klip can answer that question. KC: Darryl is one of the strongest men in the whole... DD: I'm the Paul Bunyon of rock 'n' roll. RA: We've seen pictures: you've got some guns on you, Darryl. DD: I'm tryin' to achieve somethin' between Glenn Danzig and Elvis. KC: We're all fortunate that's he gentle. RA: We're lucky he's workin' on the good side. DD: Yeah. RA: And not for the Dark Side. DD: No. I'm tryin' to hit a little bit more towards Elvis and a little bit away from Glenn Danzig. But I want his guns. RA: Are you ever tempted by the Dark Side? DD: Pssshhh. Yeah. RA: How does one ward off the Dark Side? DD: Jack Daniels and a splash of Coke. KC: Now don't give away all the secrets. RA: Maybe we should keep that one quiet... DD: Yeah...don't mention the nose candy either. KC: We have one thing to say to the people of Western New York: I have no idea where you are, but remember: don't hide your daughters, we'll bring 'em back just fine. RA: Darryl, do you have any last words? DD: Of course. If you know what's good for you people, you'll go find yourselves a Scooby van, and drive around your neighborhood and collect as many beautiful young hotties as you can get, and you will drive down to this gig, and prepare to ass-slap, hip-shake... KC: ...and boot-scoot boogie. DD: Exactly. ________________________________________________________________________ |