| This is an old version of the Tenacious D movie script, which has since been scrapped. The new script is top secret! As the November 7, 2000 draft opens, we are “HIGH UP IN THE SKY,” where “a nude man, Wonderboy (Jack Black) flies through the clouds, surveying the Earth with a protective eye.” At the same time, the opening chords of “Wonderboy and Nastyman” begin to play. As Jack sings in voice-over, we watch Wonderboy as he watches over his kingdom, perching upon clouds, enjoying the peace of the wide open sky. ”High above the muckey-muck, castle made of clouds/There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly/ Not much to say when you’re high above the mucky-muck. Yeah!” His solitude is interrupted by Nastyman, played by Kyle, “dressed in a form-fitting spandex suit with lightning bolts across the chest.” An epic battle unfolds, and as we watch them fight, the song builds to its big finish, and we suddenly find ourselves in a small coffee shop, where most of the patrons are busy ignoring them. It’s open mic night, but The D doesn’t care. They give it everything they’ve got, and at the end of the song, they’re rewarded by a frenzied round of applause from Lee, their #1 fan. They’re hustled off the stage by the manager of the coffee shop, who’s horrified by their near-constant profanity and the sheer aggressive strangeness of the act. They’re used to it, though, and take it in stride, refusing to let it set them back. “Kage, let’s stick to our path,” Jack says. “We play coffee shops for now. And in the meantime, sniff around for opening slots on major stadium tours.” They go home to the standard fare of the struggling artist, some of the old mac & cheese, and the comic rhythms of the script are quickly established. These two are constantly going off on one another, back and forth. It’s exactly the way real creative partners are after a while. You get so used to each other that you’re always riffing, always testing one another. This particular back-and-forth starts with Jack taunting Kyle about being “the world’s greatest energy conservationist” after watching him refuse to answer a phone that’s a foot away. It escalates into a full-blown musical number that leads to their discovery of a new club, the perfect place for them to hone their craft. They’re rejected the first time they try to get in, but Kyle sets to work figuring out a way in. Jack, meanwhile, has a vision of Atlantis and Wonderboy and Nastyman, and sets out to research and write a major song about the sunken continent. At the library, he finds all the books on the subject have been claimed already by “a very pretty, spunky-looking girl, SIMMEON.” Right away. Jack is smitten with her. Kyle’s a complete dick until Jack points out how hot she is, at which point it’s Kyle who asks her out, setting up the conflict that inevitably has to drive Tenacious D apart. See, part of the act is that Kyle quits the band every night, only to be wooed back just in time for the ”Song Of Exultant Joy”, a celebration of just how great it is to be The D. The movie stays true to form, setting them up for the epic Tenacious D fight to end all fights. Kyle’s a total ass about dating Simmeon, treating her badly and talking shit about it to Jack, who is obviously head over heels in love with Simmeon, and just when it looks like they’re about to work out the situation, they bump into Ronnie James Dio. That encounter is what sets up the rest of the movie, featuring a cross-country trip to Miami, real Atlanteans, reincarnation, gay hobos, conniving truck drivers, possession, nasty three-way sex, a side trip straight out of a film noir, The Justice League Of White America, and songs... lots of Tenacious D songs. |
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| HISTORY - JABLES - KAGE - ALBUM - LYRICS & TABS - PICTURES TOUR - HBO SHOW - MOVIE - GAMES - TRAINWRECK - LINKS |
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